Round Again

the children run, waving their invisibile guns

up in the air

a breeze warm, inviting

i remember the arms of my grandmother

as she wiped the tears off my face

the trees darken with approaching night

and a subtle pink, brings my mind around again

to the faint memory of a similar sky

and the sharp wind kissing our skin

i wish she could hold me now.

Still your body

Am I made like a tool 

You make it seem like my body is only for you

The deeper I look into the mirror 

I get further away from calling it mine 

You can say you’ve done your job 

The only one you’ve ever kept 

To make me feel like a sinner

When you were in the wrong 

Now when I’m lonely

My mind won’t work

As well as it should be 

I think I’m ready to drown

I think I’m ready to drown

I should learn to love myself

But I don’t seem to know how

I should learn to love myself 

But I don’t seem to know how

Peine d’amour

I am floating

Tumbling around 

Empty space 

As my body contorts 

Reaching for something 

To cling onto,

My mind 

Reverts to you

Playing the samples

Of your voice inside my head.

I swear I hear your laughter

Deep and hearty 

I close my eyes and picture 

The shape of you’re bare head 

Your bristling cheeks

As my hand moves down your jawline

I twist my body around

As if my chest was to your chest

And let out a breathless gasp

As I remember the feeling

Of your hand spanning the side of my hip

All those nights ago 

When we were alone

In the bed of your truck

Far off in the distance

I feel the weight of nothingness

Begin to collapse my chest

My eyelids feel heavy

Sleepily resisting my 

Effort

To see the darkness

My mind begins to slip

And with it

The warmth of your body

And the thumps inside my chest

A last spasm 

There goes my heart.