Again

once again

i find myself lost,

lost in the eyes of a man

who does not love me back

once again

i find myself lost,

lost in spaces that i can

no longer go to

…lest the thought of you occurs

no longer can i sleep

for the fear of losing you

rips me apart from the inside out

but my poor mind…

my poor heart…

fails to see that

i could never lose you,

when you were never mine to begin with

once again,

i find myself

lending my body

to fill the empty void in his heart

once again,

i find myself

unable to keep him

in my arms.

Peine d’amour

I am floating

Tumbling around 

Empty space 

As my body contorts 

Reaching for something 

To cling onto,

My mind 

Reverts to you

Playing the samples

Of your voice inside my head.

I swear I hear your laughter

Deep and hearty 

I close my eyes and picture 

The shape of you’re bare head 

Your bristling cheeks

As my hand moves down your jawline

I twist my body around

As if my chest was to your chest

And let out a breathless gasp

As I remember the feeling

Of your hand spanning the side of my hip

All those nights ago 

When we were alone

In the bed of your truck

Far off in the distance

I feel the weight of nothingness

Begin to collapse my chest

My eyelids feel heavy

Sleepily resisting my 

Effort

To see the darkness

My mind begins to slip

And with it

The warmth of your body

And the thumps inside my chest

A last spasm 

There goes my heart.