Again

once again

i find myself lost,

lost in the eyes of a man

who does not love me back

once again

i find myself lost,

lost in spaces that i can

no longer go to

…lest the thought of you occurs

no longer can i sleep

for the fear of losing you

rips me apart from the inside out

but my poor mind…

my poor heart…

fails to see that

i could never lose you,

when you were never mine to begin with

once again,

i find myself

lending my body

to fill the empty void in his heart

once again,

i find myself

unable to keep him

in my arms.

all you are

a cinematic experience

of golden, yellow curtains

pulled back, flowing softly with the wind

an acrylic pour, of cyan blue,

swirling, against a black canvas

outside, thunder clouds forcefully

make their way through

to shatter the walls,

of the house you built

for me.

in waves

reach out with empty hands

my skin divides,

at your command

parting words,

they’re on your mind

fall down, get up

in cycles like seasons

we’ve all lost our way

shout away

in constant fear

you’re safe

if you can heal

shout away

they cannot hear

you’re mind

it cannot heal

stranger in the light

like cold,

winter air

this life,

is all but fair

fall down, fall down.

Round Again

the children run, waving their invisibile guns

up in the air

a breeze warm, inviting

i remember the arms of my grandmother

as she wiped the tears off my face

the trees darken with approaching night

and a subtle pink, brings my mind around again

to the faint memory of a similar sky

and the sharp wind kissing our skin

i wish she could hold me now.

Still your body

Am I made like a tool 

You make it seem like my body is only for you

The deeper I look into the mirror 

I get further away from calling it mine 

You can say you’ve done your job 

The only one you’ve ever kept 

To make me feel like a sinner

When you were in the wrong 

Now when I’m lonely

My mind won’t work

As well as it should be 

I think I’m ready to drown

I think I’m ready to drown

I should learn to love myself

But I don’t seem to know how

I should learn to love myself 

But I don’t seem to know how