Again

once again

i find myself lost,

lost in the eyes of a man

who does not love me back

once again

i find myself lost,

lost in spaces that i can

no longer go to

…lest the thought of you occurs

no longer can i sleep

for the fear of losing you

rips me apart from the inside out

but my poor mind…

my poor heart…

fails to see that

i could never lose you,

when you were never mine to begin with

once again,

i find myself

lending my body

to fill the empty void in his heart

once again,

i find myself

unable to keep him

in my arms.

Ongoing today

I feel so empty 

Sometimes I’m happy

But it never lasts long

With rope burns on my neck

Raise with me your hand 

My intent for your forgiveness

This life is a mine field

And I never step 

In the right place 

Oh lord I need some drugs

Oh lord I need some drugs

I want to try 

And be better 

So I can ease my heart at night 

Lord I feel so empty

my mind always escapes

To places I cannot reach

Without my permission

I need to learn

How to stop drowning

When I know how to swim

Stranger

Saw my momma on the porch

the wind was warm, the air was heavy

with words we hadn’t said

And things we haven’t done

months have passed by but you still keep your head held high

I guess I’ve never really known you

Why you keep things close to your chest

Ive watched it tear you apart

but you never want to talk about it

and I’ve grown tired of it

I can never really hold you

when you’re nothing more than a stranger

Maybe down the line you can show me how to love you

You’ve never really reached out

I watched you from afar

As you tried to put things back together

and love a man that treated you so badly

I wish that I could say it was all right

when all I really want is to feel you near

I cant really breathe when you’re

crushing up my lungs

I can never really hold you

when you’re nothing more than a stranger

Maybe down the line you can show me how to love you

Saw my momma, on the porch across the street

the wind was warm, the air was heavy

Momma, dear, I hope that you can love me.