introspective

this feeling of being stuck

imprisoned in my own mind

with fears of change,

I can no longer control

Imprisoned in a body

Unrecognizable,

Except when my clothes are off

And Thrown across the bed,

Of a cold blue truck

Constant tidal waves of nothingness,

abandonment hurts more

When it comes from inside.

In my head

I could hold my breath for years

My words will never carry

Or reach far enough

To touch the soft edges of your outline

In the end,

the faint illusion,

of you and I

belonged to me

Diving

Warm wind blowing through

The fingers ache to weave with yours

A smell of sex and pine

I almost feel you at my neck

Searching for things I can only find

It’s burned in my throat

I keep coughing up ashes

You keep choking on lies

Round Again

the children run, waving their invisibile guns

up in the air

a breeze warm, inviting

i remember the arms of my grandmother

as she wiped the tears off my face

the trees darken with approaching night

and a subtle pink, brings my mind around again

to the faint memory of a similar sky

and the sharp wind kissing our skin

i wish she could hold me now.

Still your body

Am I made like a tool 

You make it seem like my body is only for you

The deeper I look into the mirror 

I get further away from calling it mine 

You can say you’ve done your job 

The only one you’ve ever kept 

To make me feel like a sinner

When you were in the wrong 

Now when I’m lonely

My mind won’t work

As well as it should be 

I think I’m ready to drown

I think I’m ready to drown

I should learn to love myself

But I don’t seem to know how

I should learn to love myself 

But I don’t seem to know how