this feeling of being stuck

imprisoned in my own mind

with fears of change,

I can no longer control

Imprisoned in a body


Except when my clothes are off

And Thrown across the bed,

Of a cold blue truck

Constant tidal waves of nothingness,

abandonment hurts more

When it comes from inside.

In my head

I could hold my breath for years

My words will never carry

Or reach far enough

To touch the soft edges of your outline

In the end,

the faint illusion,

of you and I

belonged to me


Warm wind blowing through

The fingers ache to weave with yours

A smell of sex and pine

I almost feel you at my neck

Searching for things I can only find

It’s burned in my throat

I keep coughing up ashes

You keep choking on lies