this feeling of being stuck

imprisoned in my own mind

with fears of change,

I can no longer control

Imprisoned in a body


Except when my clothes are off

And Thrown across the bed,

Of a cold blue truck

Constant tidal waves of nothingness,

abandonment hurts more

When it comes from inside.


Warm wind blowing through

The fingers ache to weave with yours

A smell of sex and pine

I almost feel you at my neck

Searching for things I can only find

It’s burned in my throat

I keep coughing up ashes

You keep choking on lies